WELCOME TO SWAN DIVE! The only place on the internet where you can find me,The Swan (a nickname/moniker given to me long ago that I feel is truly used far too little) unedited, unkempt and uncaring to your needs! This is a PC free place. If you don't like hearing my ideas on things that don't coddle people, then don't read it. I'm not saying this is where I'm going to come out of the closet as hate monger and suddenly start spouting off Tea Party agendaisms...but I may. I have no idea where I'm going with this...ok, that's not entirely true.
I've decided there are things in this world that I like A LOT! So much so that I want to write about them. These topics include, but are not limited to the following:
BEER: I am a beer snob. If you drink Bud Light and enjoy it, go away. We have nothing in common.
POLITICS: I love to debate all things political. Mostly I'm talking out of my ass. It'll be fun for you to find out when that is and when I'm actually attempting to understand and inform. It's a game. Play it!
SEX: I mean, it's sex. If you don't like that, you probably don't like baby animals, chocolate or cheese. Again, be gone with you.
FOOD: I love food. I love trying new things. I'll be discussing new things soon.
ART: This I kept last. It's probably the most important element to my being, but I didn't want to bore you with it first. It'll be on here a lot as well. Hopefully you don't hate art. If you do hate art, then you probably don't like beer and should therefore have already left this blog. If you don't like beer, but chose to stay thinking we may have other things in common only to discover I like sex and you don't, again you should've left a while ago. I warned you. Now, if you're the kind of asshole that doesn't like beer, sex or baby animals (kittens, puppies and the like) but STILL remained here out of spite, I applaud you. YOU MAY STAY! I like your stubbornness. You are now a worthwhile adversary. Enjoy your time here you miserable wretch.
So, I take requests. In fact, part of this blog is for me to dip my toe (literal or figurative)into new things, then find an interesting way to share that with you. I plan on having videos up soon. Mostly of me doing things you shouldn't see me do, or of me talking about things I know nothing of. Anyway, if you choose your own adventure for me and I take it, you will be rewarded. I'm unemployed, understimulated and way to eager to please. You could get me killed....or arrested, which would also count as a new experience...sort of.
Anyway, for my first topic, I'd like to pick on the Baptists in my neighborhood. They change their sign once a week, usually to fulfill some need I can only assume as part of the Baptist credo to scare us "Nons" into finding Jesus. This weeks banner of wisdom asks the philosophical question: "Have you helped anyone get into heaven?"
I had to pause for a moment to ponder how that might work. I can only think of two, polar opposite ways, in which I could truly "Help" anyone get into heaven: the first would be to murder them (assuming they were chosen to begin with and allowed to be near the light and glory of the lord) and the second would be have a child (again, assuming I'm married and never had sex outside of that tradition). Neither of these scenarios fit my life. So I felt bad. I felt left out. I felt as though I needed to send someone to Heaven. But I wasn't sure how to do that.
All kidding aside, how does one do that? Assuming Heaven is real, aside from murder, or creating a life form with a soul which, upon its death enters into the Kingdom of God, how the hell do I do that? This particular church is one I drive past everyday. Many of my posts will quote them.
Anyway, I'll be tweeting now as well. I suddenly feel this overwhelming desire to become as average as I can, what with the whole "I have a blog and I'm tweeting now" thing. You can follow that at
@SScottSmithers
Enjoy! See you soon!
Since I'm not sure how many Christian friends you have, I feel it is my duty to attempt to answer your question, "...how the hell do I [help anyone get into heaven]?"
ReplyDeleteFirst, you'd have to be a Christian. Then you tell that person about Jesus Christ and how he died on the cross to save us. For the wages of sin is death, but Jesus took that punishment all on Himself so that we could have eternal life. Then, if they don't think you are just a nutty, uptight, Bible thumper, they might listen to you and allow you to help them to pray a prayer of salvation. Then, when they die, they will go to Heaven.
Now... this may sound simplistic and clichéd, but it's the basics. That's how you help someone get into heaven. I did say that you had to be a Christian first, but now I'm not so sure that is true. I suppose a non-Christian could help someone by giving someone a Bible that they didn't want and then that person reads and believes and becomes a Christian.
Shannon, I know you. And I know that you have probably just read all this and had many questions, rebuttals, and snide remarks. That's fine. That's The Swan. That's what makes you you. But I did my best to answer your question from what I assume to be the point of view of the church. It's not eloquent, because I'm not... like Moses. But you, on the other hand, are very eloquent, like Moses' brother Aaron who went with Moses. One day, maybe you and I can go out and preach the gospel together... Meeyike and The Swan!!!... helping people get into heaven.
Hello my friend. First off, the idea of us preaching the gospel together should have all people, believers and non-believers alike, really confused as to what that would mean.
ReplyDeleteMy point was a rhetorical question. I was going with the literal answer of dying as the only true way to enter heaven. Perhaps, (or perhaps not to you depending) it's my dislike of the extreme messages this particular church tends to post on their marquis. This being my only form of rebuttal to that, other than going in and personally having a philosophical debate on religion, faith and its purpose in peoples lives, I choose to be as moderately condescending and dismissive as I was. I'm no David Cross or Bill Maher. I'm not opposed to anyone having a viewpoint different from mine.
On the flipside of that, being one that is predominantly a non-believer (currently I'm pretty far away from the idea of anything related to the bible or any kind of God in that manner) when I hear arguments, particularly in political debate, where faith is a matter of principle and the name of the Lord is thrown about as a banner to hide behind hate, I get discouraged and a bit distrustful of anyone claiming to be or anything calling itself Christian.
You are an exception to that, and my words and beliefs, although it may not seem like it, are never directed towards you. In your most sincere and wonderful moments with me, you are nothing but one of the best friends I've ever had and to date the ONLY person to date who has felt compelled to pray for me (remember that? I do) and it is appreciated. Who am I to say whether it does or does not work.
My problem is with the organization itself and elements contained within that that choose to hide behind a banner of Godliness and righteousness as the way to live and that choosing to do other than that will lead me, or anyone else who does not, to eternal damnation. I disagree with that. Whole heartedly.
You are not a bible thumper. I believe you come from a place of honsety, education and understanding. If you wanted to have a talk with me, I'd listen because I know you see a debate with The Swan for what it is and not go in expecting to change me. The ones I describe as Bible thumpers are class of religiosity with no education and a simple, fear based mantra.
Ok, enough. I'm sorry for the long winded response. Your words were heard. That's the most important part.
First, I was not offended by your original post in the least. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was. In addition, I didn't even realize that you had taken exception to the Baptists in your neighborhood. If you do, that doesn't offend me either. They are human and prone to mistake. AND, I know the type of Haters that it sounds like they are... the type that makes people hate Christians because all Christians hate gays and think you are going to hell if you don't do everything right. TURN OR BURN! That's not Jesus... that's not the Jesus I know. Anyways, I have those same people in my town and it saddens me every time I drive by and see their hateful signs. So by all means quote them, it offends me not.
ReplyDeleteI am also sad to say that I don't remember when I prayed for you. Remind me. Of course you don't have to do that here. I don't mean to make this blog of yours the Myke and Shannon Reunion Show. Facebook me.
Love you...
...and so does Jesus ;)